You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize