listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
