guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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