What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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