I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
