My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
