i just sent this text using only my big toe
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Congratulations! We have a period
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
