Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
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