glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
