Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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