the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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