She announced her abortion via fbk
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
