all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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