I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize