what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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