In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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