I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
