fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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