Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
