She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
