Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
