I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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