Jerry, you need to find god
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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