Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
