If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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