Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
