i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
