There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
