are you so shy because you have an std?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
