Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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