how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Randomize
