Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
