Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
