Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
