these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
