smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
40s are totally the cure
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
