His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
