I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
