I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
