So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Naked Twister starts at high noon
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Watching her eat just hurts me
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
