I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
