yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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