Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
