I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
