Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
