Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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