is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize