Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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