So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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