I want to stick my p in your. b.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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