when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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