so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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