It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
