Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize