Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
