giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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