Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
