this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
