Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
