She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
