lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Randomize
