Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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